Tuesday, November 14, 2006

It's where I want to be

I'm tired. I just read Bell Hooks writing about women artists and their creative process. I am moved and sad.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

It's not sad, it just feels

i feel like silly putty being stretched apart - the part when it's as thin as thread and about to split.

Monday, October 16, 2006

compossers and cassettes

i saw a steve reich performance at the whitney yesterday, my first composser concert. it ruled


The idea for this piece spawned from thinking about the ways in which music is often described through writing, “dense…so and so creates a wall of sound etc”. I’ve set out to make these descriptions physical, which is literally possible through analog recording.

I’ve said many times that both rock music and feminism changed/saved my life. I believe that’s true, though I have a strange relationship to music. I love it, I depend on it and I’m also terrified of it.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I'm Jemmin'

So, if i make this thing and put it on the floor...who cares?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

trippin' out in the woods

i'm thinking a lot about tie dying. tye dying scraps of paper, and cubes to make some minimalist mess.

i also want to make a books. i'll put these books on a shelf with a banner that says "human resources". each book will be a person with their name on the spine. maybe?

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Right on, brother.

me just dancin' to cassie's me and you.
i'm in the computer lab trying to write about myself in relation to the movie the US vs John Lennon. What?

today, for no reason mostly, while in the studio i started the feel really sad and overwhelmed. I really want(ed) to give up. I'm not sure on what - the cassette "scuplture" i was working, life, working, thinking, i don't know, anything. i REALLY wanted to give up. megan told me not to because i inspire her and she thinks i'm smart. then, i started crying because incaseyoudidntknow, i'm a total softie.

so, i'm sitting here, wanting really bad to write some sweet essay on john lennon, and rock music, and not giving up and why it's all so important and i'll i have written is this:
I can remember being 9 or 10 years old and fighting with my mother about my name. I was so close to having the same name as my favorite Beatle, just two letters off. I can honestly remember saying the words, “Mom, why didn’t you just name me ‘John’, it’s so close to ‘Jen’”? My mom would always respond by telling me that she didn’t name me ‘Jen’, she named me ‘Jennifer’ and that just because John Lennon was my favorite Beatle it didn’t mean I had to have the same name as him. He could be just that, my favorite Beatle. But what did she know? Her favorite Beatle was George, he never said anything outrageous, and hardly made any jokes ( although, let’s face it, all of his songs were totally solid). Eventually, I got over the name thing and moved on to other forms of pathetic rock star emulation.
“Dad, which Beatle was the fattest?”
“They were all pretty thin”.
“Yeah, I know, but who was the fattest?”
“I don’t know, probably John.”
“Who was the funniest?”
“Who was the coolest?”
“Which Beatle am I most like?”
“He’s the quiet one.”

if you can find the warm, beautiful parts in all of it, please contact me asap, before i give up.

also, if someone can tell me who started this me being smart rumour, i'd like to know. most of the time i have no idea what's going on and can't even think of words. it's kind and all, but may be unfounded.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The dogs on main st. howl, 'cause they understand

incase you havn't heard, i took today "off" as a "me day". i'm so laid back and cool i didn't think twice about doing so(read: i've been thinking for 4 days, "should i go? maybe i wont go. i should probably go".) but, i didn't go. i'm sitting around eating smartdogs and apples, looking at the LL Bean website trying to find the perfect cardigan to replace my black one that dissapeared sometime last year. where did you go?
i went into the big city today to buy 16mm film. 62 dollars and for rolls later i am back in brooklyn, hangin'. i think i'll make coffee, go to the library and then the studio. maybe i'll read miranda july's fiction piece in last weeks new yorker.
interesting, no?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Sorry internet, i've been busy singing. humming, or just thinking about jock jamz for the last how ever long it's been since i've written anything in this webspace. My fave jock jams are currently Everybody dance now, Ya'll ready for this,and I like to move it move it. and maybe a few others whose titles or at least main phrases escape me right now.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Maxin' out my limit on my minimum wage

Oh, hello internet.
I'm mostly unemployed, how are you?
At one point I had three jobs. then I had 2. Now i definitely have one, but there's nothing for me to do.
SO, i sit in my room mostly. I redid it, it looks nice.

Last night the idea of a man who hates his job and loves his ceiling fan was the saddest, most beautiful thing to me. today, kind of funny.

Friday, June 23, 2006


I'm using this space to gloat right now.
I saw Bruce Springsteen last night. Yep, at MSG and yeah, our seats were most definitely on the floor. If I had paid, I would have gotten my moneys worth. The Boss played for nearly three hours not even playing his own songs( mostly)!!!! The Seeger Sessions, baby. I' like these seshes. I'm not going to specify that i mostly like 1970's Bruce anymore. He's still got it. Bruce was having fun, I was having fun, Joan was having fun. IT RULED! I get why he can sell out 8 nights in like, what 14 minutes of something? Got it, Bruce is the Boss.
It was a total trip - imagine a sadium of thousands of peeps from the NY & NJ suburbs singing "Bring 'em home".


Oh, you didn't know? You havn't heard the world actually ended last friday night/saturday early morning- weird. The end of the world included a strobe light, fog machine, thoseglowsticknecklaces, a whylin' out squad, a comfortable makeout closet, beer and even jello shots. after the world ended Montauk the place devolved into Mantauk and it became official that I prefer brahs to bros.

Friday, June 16, 2006

trying to decide what the fuck i should wear

a few things:
- a few weeks ago when i was on drugs i said i didn't like cartoons. this isn't true, i just don't like all cartoons, but who does?
- dark beer, red wine, garlic, ginger, onions and tomatoes can potentially lower yr blood's ability to clot.
-if a persons blood count goes below 10,000 bleeding in the brain could occur.
-focusing an image from film on a projector is my new favorite thing.
- social injustice in any form is the saddest thing.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Freak tha whole scene

I went to a wack attack flower power party in a free for all multi room stairs cubbyhole hang out spots roof outside giant rabbit made of hay spraypaint blacklight pot brownies & absinthe served to boot place on saturday. I ate a pot brownie and then three hours later i fell down. apparently, i fainted/blacked out. who knew. in any case i'm only writing this to report that i looked really good wearing a magenta flower print dress with lavender tights and a paper plate flower on my head, ok?

also, props/shout outs to : chris smith for carrying me out of the building and laura and alan for walking me home. respekt.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Real Lyfe Wizards of DOOM

two nights ago i saw a band called "Sunn O)))". They wear grim reeper robes, use a fog machine, drone for an hour - all the while making slow dramatic ritualistic motions with their guitars or gong.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006


This memorial day weekend I sat for five hours in the same exact spot in the woods in upstate NY. When I left my spot and looked back on it it most certainly did NOT look like any of the places I had been sitting all day.

and all the while it's like i'm never never never never there

Friday, May 26, 2006

No one takes bisexuality seriously

What? It's true.

Cool. Let's make it better.

I'm sorry, my dearest blog readers (Devon, have you checked out my sweet blog?), that i havn't written in a week or two.

If you needed me, you could have found me in my room singing songs with Laura. There's a keyboard in 159 and we have been taken the instrumental demos to the max.
we've made music videos and even played a show to a sold out my bedroom. our auidience help up their cell phones rather than their lighters due to fire safety rules.
Our bands, Duchesses of the Court ( a pop duo), Duchesses of the Cornfeild ( zippedy do-dah folk), and Duchesses of the Dungeon (straight up cas-tel music) have been taking our apartment building by storm. I'm into it. Way into it.

I knit a sweater
for all my friends in the world
and we said, "Cool. Let's make it better.
bettabettabetaabettabetta betta OW!

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Have you ever seen the faces of men/boys while playing video games? It's absolutely insane and incredible.

Expect a video of just that within the next 2 months or so.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Ruling and Schooling

Last night I played "99 Problems" on the jukebox at the rope so many times until it wouldn't play anymore. I think it stops at 10. Every person I know was there. A lot of them I like. Good friends, sick jamz. Totally fun. This doesn't happen all the time- everyone came out of the woodwork becuase school is over. But, what's up with that? Friends, What's important here?
I mean, really, WHAT'S IMPORTANT? I thnk probably being happy with friends and good songs. Of course, in all this important fun everyone would have to find a way and a time for discipline, to do work. More fun, More work.

In the spirit of blogging, I think it's important for me to note that I drank coffee in the shower today. It was ok.

Monday, May 08, 2006

just saying

this is j hova talking...