Thursday, September 28, 2006

Right on, brother.

me just dancin' to cassie's me and you.
i'm in the computer lab trying to write about myself in relation to the movie the US vs John Lennon. What?

today, for no reason mostly, while in the studio i started the feel really sad and overwhelmed. I really want(ed) to give up. I'm not sure on what - the cassette "scuplture" i was working, life, working, thinking, i don't know, anything. i REALLY wanted to give up. megan told me not to because i inspire her and she thinks i'm smart. then, i started crying because incaseyoudidntknow, i'm a total softie.

so, i'm sitting here, wanting really bad to write some sweet essay on john lennon, and rock music, and not giving up and why it's all so important and i'll i have written is this:
I can remember being 9 or 10 years old and fighting with my mother about my name. I was so close to having the same name as my favorite Beatle, just two letters off. I can honestly remember saying the words, “Mom, why didn’t you just name me ‘John’, it’s so close to ‘Jen’”? My mom would always respond by telling me that she didn’t name me ‘Jen’, she named me ‘Jennifer’ and that just because John Lennon was my favorite Beatle it didn’t mean I had to have the same name as him. He could be just that, my favorite Beatle. But what did she know? Her favorite Beatle was George, he never said anything outrageous, and hardly made any jokes ( although, let’s face it, all of his songs were totally solid). Eventually, I got over the name thing and moved on to other forms of pathetic rock star emulation.
“Dad, which Beatle was the fattest?”
“They were all pretty thin”.
“Yeah, I know, but who was the fattest?”
“I don’t know, probably John.”
“Who was the funniest?”
“Who was the coolest?”
“Which Beatle am I most like?”
“He’s the quiet one.”

if you can find the warm, beautiful parts in all of it, please contact me asap, before i give up.

also, if someone can tell me who started this me being smart rumour, i'd like to know. most of the time i have no idea what's going on and can't even think of words. it's kind and all, but may be unfounded.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The dogs on main st. howl, 'cause they understand

incase you havn't heard, i took today "off" as a "me day". i'm so laid back and cool i didn't think twice about doing so(read: i've been thinking for 4 days, "should i go? maybe i wont go. i should probably go".) but, i didn't go. i'm sitting around eating smartdogs and apples, looking at the LL Bean website trying to find the perfect cardigan to replace my black one that dissapeared sometime last year. where did you go?
i went into the big city today to buy 16mm film. 62 dollars and for rolls later i am back in brooklyn, hangin'. i think i'll make coffee, go to the library and then the studio. maybe i'll read miranda july's fiction piece in last weeks new yorker.
interesting, no?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Sorry internet, i've been busy singing. humming, or just thinking about jock jamz for the last how ever long it's been since i've written anything in this webspace. My fave jock jams are currently Everybody dance now, Ya'll ready for this,and I like to move it move it. and maybe a few others whose titles or at least main phrases escape me right now.