Wednesday, December 31, 2008

"it was a good day"

Yesterday was . I adopted Spock, the cat. He came last night and he is currently hiding in a corner under my bathtub. His head is kind of in between the wall and the tub. We made eye contact this morning, though. Sadie seems to not care at all that there is a cat living in the bathroom but maybe she just doesn't get it.

At work yesterday we listened to Moby Dick and it made me feel really insane. The book not the song. Then I got a phonecall saying that they're going to use the image of my piece for the postcard for the show at Brooklyn Arts Council I'm going to be in in February. All right!!!

They say what's on the postcard sells. I've been saying that to people so I have a feeling I will break that tradition or myth or whatever.

I thought Megan and I should do another "TOP TEN MUSIC EVER" list for 2008 but we immediately couldn't agree on Lil' Wayne so I guess that's not happening. This is the short version of my list:
MJB is da MVP


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

thousands of light bulbs shining

#1. someone blogged ABOUT ME and it wasn't Devon! you can see that here. I am confident and raw!

#2. this is my favorite Christmas song:

Monday, December 22, 2008

Spock the cat

For the last 8 months or so I've been wondering if I should get Sadie a friend. She's super, super playful and sometimes I can't play with her enough etc.

I've been thinking more seriously about it lately and looked up some of the rescue groups in Brooklyn and perused some cats. I saw an all black cat named Spock. His description said he wishes to no longer be alien to a permanent home. His brother's name is Yoda, his sister's names are aliens that I don't know about.

If there was ever "meant to be" type cat for this situation I have to think that it would be this little guy.

I emailed them. I'm going to meet him. I don't want to jinx myself...but Spock the cat. He might be around.


I listened to the entire album of Circus and let me be the first to tell you that it is actually not very good. The first 2 singles are the FIRST 2 SONGS! and it really just goes downhill from there. If the next single is what they advertise on the front it is going to be a not so great ballad.

The one other song on it I really liked was Unusual You. Well, I'm guessing it was called that. I didn't have a track list in front of me. It is kind of asking for someone to do a filk remake of it and make it about everyone's favorite vulcan. You'd really only have to substitute the word "angel" for "vulcan".

Monday, December 15, 2008

competitive sports

I made that for Purple the Magazine #2. Purple is one of the most fun things. My last assignment was "The Dark Side of the Moon". At first I thought I really dropped the ball on it but I think that I didn't. It worked.

There should be a Purple website or something but there isn't ( that I know of).


Have you heard?

BRIT IS BACK! I really liked Womanizer. Maybe I loved it. I do love it. I love the jock jams beginning.

And now I really like Circus. Circus the album? buyin' it!

I feel like it's not fair to compare everything she does to Toxic. Toxic is actually the best song in the world. That's a lot of pressure.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

thanks to Adam "keyboard" Davies.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Wendy And Lucy

is coming out the week. It'll be at film forum.

In case you don't know, this is the movie where Michelle Williams totally rips off my look.

It also looks really depressing.

I can't wait to go see it. It will be like watching my depressing future!!

Fortunately or unfortunately I'm getting my haircut today so I won't have the same haircut while I'm sitting there watching it. In a blue zip up sweatshirt.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

OMG Adam Davies is hanging up a show of mine for me in Portland right now! It is in a really prestigious place - A coffee shop!!!!! I'm kidding but coffee shops really ARE something there.

I wonder what it will look like? Who knows!? not me! I told them to hang things in clusters or clouds. I have a very strict and specific vision obviously.


45 pieces to be exact.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what Adam Davies was doing on Monday - he was somehow getting purple ink all over my laptop keyboard but not telling me about it until I got home. The next day. Instead he said he left a present for me. I'm not mad but I was freaked. It makes me make more typos. Somehow. It'll be fixed. He will Pay. But he is hanging my show for me so like, it's cool.

(add 'em, LYLAS)

Gossip Girl

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

And I'm here to recruit you

I saw MILK this weekend while I was in Philly and I loved it. I loved it. It was a lot like the documentary, The Times of Harvey Milk, and I loved that too. I'm so glad this movie was made. Now. It's perfect timing - more people need to know about Harvey Milk.

Sean Penn had him down. He was great. He did it. James Franco was good, too. Although, there's not much to compare him to in terms of "real life Scott " since he wasn't in the doc at all really...and there's barely any video or audio footage of him around. I heard Terry Gross interviewing James Franco last week -He talked about how the director of the documentary had to find old footage that didn't make the cut of Scott and put it on DVD so James Franco could see and hear this guy he was playing.

I made a note to myself last week that said this - "James Franco, not Seth Rogan". Totally.

Anyway, I loved Milk. I keep trying to think of him/the movie as something really hopeful and inspiring rather than something cripplingly depressing. After I saw the documentary I was so upset. I cried so much. I cried so much at MILK , too. I always cry so much. After I watched the documentary a while ago I thought I couldn't deal with reading the book. I think I will read the book, though.

Harvey Milk, the person, and Sean Penn playing him, was hilarious, too.

It really is sad.

His "Hope" Speech.

It makes me kind of hate the band Harvey Milk for having that name. They aren't righteous enough, don't deserve it. Maybe that's not fair. Whatever.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

the hot spot

I feel like I went a little crazy on the Star Trek trailer. Whatever. Rob said it looks like a fun movie even if it is TOTALLY WRONG with the show. Maybe he's right. I normally don't like explosion movies anyway, though.

Foxy Brown's "hot spot" is great.

"MCs wanna eat me but it's Ramadan"

It's weird that Jay-Z wrote her rhymes. I told Alan that any line from any rapper that is so funny Jay-Z actually wrote. It's not true, of course. I do think he wrote the "talkin' like I ain't got guns/ What, you think I sold them all?" from Dre, still D.R.E..

It's sad foxy went deaf.

I watched rap videos from the last 15 years while I was collating my new lil' book. I also watched Madonna's song "Music". woof.

Anyway the books are done and coming to your mailbox soon. Or your hands if I see you sometime and you want one.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


I just watched the new star trek trailer. omg I hated it!

1.Spock seems violent. Where's my non-violent vegetarian (half)VULCAN? I highly doubt that Mr. Spock was an out of control teen. Was that Spock peeping a babe taking off her shirt or just a weird trailer cut?
2. Why is Chekov there? He came as a fresh newbie in season 2.
3. Kirk boning someone, of course. I hate Kirk. I don't, I guess. But, I do.
4. The guy who plays Spock looks good from the side & stupid from the front. I could do a better job talking like him and I'm really bad at it! He BETTER have that slight eyebrow raise down.
5. The beginning? Kirk diving out of a car? that falls into a cliff? A robot asks him his name? Yeah right.
6. OK , I just looked it up and Nimoy says he's psyched on the scope this movie will give Spock's half human half vulcan conflicts. Whatever. I'm guessing there's a Spock sex scene.
7. Nimoy is in it. That will probably be cute and maybe sad.
8. I've only just recently come to understand what the Star Trek Canon is... but this shit seems to be really messing up the canon of the Trek. Even if it is canon since it's a movie. I have no idea.
9. Winona Rider is Spock's mom. Weird!
10. New Uhura looks cool just like Old Uhura. New Uhura took the role before watching TOS.
11. What do real Trekkies think of this? I am a poser at best.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Say OK

"What's up, Dude?"


I'm scanning today. Getting ready for a website UPGRADE and a show in portland (so not ready) and finally going to the village copier and hanging with Pat and copying a little book. A little book that used to be about feeling crazy but is now, somehow, about feeling crazy and having a very illogical crush on Mr. Spock.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Just a little bit of weed in the air

I'm home sick from work today. I have already watched more youtube videos in the last hour and a half than I have probably in the last 6 months.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Thursday, November 06, 2008

We did it together!!!

it actually happened!!!!

I have pretty much been crying for the last two days. Any time I see someone with an Obama pin I tear up. When they replay parts of the speech I am crying. Don't even get me started on all the interviews on the radio and the news with people who have lived through the civil rights movement talking about Obama's win.

When I was walking to work on Wednesday this woman wearing an Obama T shirt said "We did it!" to me. I cried.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Day Before You Came

Just forget about the fact that John McCain loves ABBA and groove on it.

the video is pretty bad.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

beginning to see the light

I have been reading Ellen Willis lately. I can only hope that someday I will be able to write or make anything that makes sense and is as articulate, purposeful, smart/funny as her essays.

Sadie just did a real somersault and then landed in cleaning butt position. More proud of her everyday...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Oh, Sylvia.

Sylvia the movie sucks. It is really unfortunate. I kept telling Megan while we were watching it that I'm going to re-make the movie. Maybe!

It really should have been called "Ted". The movie was more focused on Sylvia Plath's husband, poet Ted Hughes, than on Sylvia, or even kind of trying to accurately represent her as a person or a writer.

The movie starts hours before she meets Ted Hughes with only glib mentions of her past. Her "downward spiral" is really only shown in comparison to her husband, his affairs, and probably abuse ( not that we would really know since he destroyed her journals from the last months of her life and has made sure nothing too horrible she wrote about him has really been published). Oh, and her journals weren't even a part of the movie. They were a big part of her life since age 11, but they didn't really make the cut.

I also hated how they had her wear pink for the first 40 minutes of the movie and then brown and green when she was "losin' it".

Director Christine Jeffs and writer John Brownlow had an agenda making this movie.

My version will be totally opposite. That's my pitch.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Vicky Christina Barcelona

I do my best writing while I am walking to work and about to fall asleep. Of course, I never actually write it so maybe it isn’t good. I can just think it is without having to read it later and feel embarrassed and wonder why I inappropriately use commas,like, always.


I know that it really isn’t fair to bring an artists personal life to their work. To use it to discredit them, or to celebrate them. And of course Woody Allen has repeatedly said his movies have nothing to do with his private life whatsoever.


Husbands and Wives* was produced and released at the peak of Woody and Mia’s breakup. It was made while he was boning Soon-Yi. It mirrors their life so much that he really can’t say that one has nothing to do with his life. But he does. Mia Farrow’s character wanting kids, Woody smooching 19 year olds, being excited by the prospect of being with them. The fights. The divorce. Come on. So I feel I can hold WA’s life up to the light with Vicky Christina. SO basically, Woody wasn’t happy with Mia, He isn’t happy with Soon-Yi(I’m just guessing!) . What now?

I will unfairly say this; to me, Vicky Christina Barcelona is Woody kind of giving up. He wants it all but he is admitting that the exciting 16 year olds, get old, the talented, stable, caring partners( I am talking about Mia Farrow here, not the Rebecca Hall character she just came off kind of predicable and depressing) get boring and nothing works. There is always the “what if..” the uncertainty. “Love is only romantic if it cannot be” or whatever. Which is fine. A point worthy of exploration.

But, I feel like he just used his power as Woody Allen to explore his fantasies of “love” he wishes he could pursue. It leaves all of the relationships in the movie feeling kind of empty. Totally contrived, giving no one any credit and using stereotypes all along the way. Love never works, Scarlett, Penelope, please make out now.

Scarlet Johansson’s performance was horrible. Penelope Cruz owned the screen. She is beautiful.

Too much linen.

Woody seems to really hate the USA.

And a bunch of other things.

This really does not make as much sense as it does when I write it before falling asleep. Maybe I’ll edit it around 1am.

* Husbands and Wives, I thought was a really good movie about some of the same things. Just saying.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


I just finished reading what I had been referring to as the most embarrassing book I've ever read. I am Spock by Leonard Nimoy.

The book reads kind of like a letter. or Maybe more like an e-mail. A really long email from stellar dude Leonard Nimoy. At first I thought it was too cheesy to really read. He has conversations with Spock throughout...

Now that I've finished I feel a little sad. I'm going to miss Nimoy. He is such a sweet, smart, feminist man.It was so nice having him around every night before sleeping. I am now 100% a Nimoy fan. I love Mr. Spock and Leonard Nimoy respectively. By the chapter on him directing Three Men and a Baby* I was so into it that I wasn't even kind of embarrassed to be reading it in public.

He thinks that Spock's "power" over women lies in his ears. I have to disagree, though they certainly help. It is his posture, his unwavering logic, then the ears. His trim figure helps too.

*oh,hey PHS hometown hero Steve Guttenberg?

Sunday, September 07, 2008


glad to hear Heart was as upset as I was about their song being used for Palin.

Monday, September 01, 2008

The Olfactory Factor

I think the smell of Earl Gray tea is the best smell. A perfume of that scent would be a good idea. I might even wear it and I never wear spray on scents.

I haven't been able to drink coffee ( or stay in direct sunlight for more than 15 min!) because of the medicine I am taking. Normally I hate not drinking coffee - though I think I could get used to earl gray. That smell in the morning...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

the big O

did anyone else have tears in their eyes as he walked out? They faded for the 45 thank yous, but started again as soon as he started talking.

Monday, August 25, 2008

things to do while I barely have a job

1. apply for jobs
2. un-clutter my desk and the shelf above my desk and my closet.
3.actually photocopy that book I was so into making like 4 months ago.
4. draw
5. consider a second cat. ( Nimoy, the boy)
6. listen to new tunes. ( I'm listening to Leisha Hailey's band Uh Huh Her on their myspace page right now. I'm not disappointed. I wasn't expecting much).

Friday, August 15, 2008

I haven't been making much art work at all lately. I have been reading, though. A LOT. I've been plowing through books in 2 days, a few days, barely over a week. So, maybe in like, a few months all of this stuff I'm cramming into my brain will come out as something? maybe? MAYBE?

Anyway a round up of the last two weeks;

Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion -
I am so blown away by her writing. Everytime. I've always been more into her essays, the only other fiction I read of hers was Democracy and it was OK. I wasn't super invested or interested.


OH, this book. Scary good, since it is about a woman having a nervous breakdown.
So spare so dead on so sad so harsh.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath -
Kept rolling with the women having break downs/going/feeling insane thing here. I had never read the Bell Jar - a crime, I know. Is this required reading in high school for most people? It seriously should be. Should be read back to back with the Catcher in the Rye, to put that (male) "teenage experience" book to shame. Seriously. Again, sad.Duh.

I feel like it really shows how totally alienating life is for smart young women. Everyone I know feels crazy all the time. Part of me was scared to get to the breakdown stuff afraid that it would ring too true but it ( I ) was OK.

Mia & Woody by Kristi Groetki ( da Nanny)
Megan's dad gave this book to her to give to me since he knew a friend of hers liked Woody Allen - i think? a few years ago. I didn't have anything to read so I scanned the shelves and picked this up. I've always tried to avoid the whole Soon-Yi thing since I love his movies so so much. I have never looked much into it at all, besides maybe a wikipedia page or something. Funny, since I am always the first person to point out what misogynist shmoes almost every artist is and finding was to discredit their work because of it. Oh well! Shakespeare hated jews!

Anyway, this shit is so fucked. I can't even believe it. The Nanny's writing is not very good. Especially in the beginning when it is mostly just her. By the time you're really in the shit it is almost all quotes and it's easy to skim over and parts too nanny snooze fest centric. Anyway,
poor Mia Farrow. I can't get over it really. Her boyf of 12 years - who always refused to marry or live with her - has an affair with her daughter, the sister of his children, which probably started her last year in high school, and she may have been 16 or 18, since her birth year is kind of unknown because of the whole adoption thing. She finds out by finding nude pictures of Soon-Yi spread eagle on Woody's mantle. Left out for anyone to see. If that isn't enough, good ol' Woody probably molested his own daughter, Dylan ( who has since changed her name to Eliza) who he adopted with Mia and who is this sister to his biological son and who was 7 at the time!!!! Because of confusing stuff, and probably because woody is woody it was sort of dropped in court as not having enough evidence to convict him....gross sick horrible!

the kids hate woody. Woody was SO WEIRD with all the kids. He adopted 2 with Mia and they had a biological son together. For some reason he never acknowledged one of his 3 kids. Only had photos of the 2 in his house..etc etc all of the kids were sort of messed up by him in some way.

Woody Says; "I think it was meant to be". Woof. It's really a crazy story but I think reading Mia's autobiography would be better...since the nanny is kind of..annoying.

And Mia really just seems wonderful. It is sad.

And then there is Ellen Willis' Beginning to See the Light; Sex, Hope and Rock and Roll.

I'm only jumping around to certain essays in it so far. She's a totally smart feminist rock critic and journalist. Her writing is funny and so smart and so awesome. I'm like, only a little into this so that's all I can say really. NEXT!

The Commitment by Dan Savage

I've been so into Dan Savage's Savage Love - the podcast, and the column the last few weeks. So I got this book too. I'm also not finished with it yet but predict I will be int he next day or so. A real Page Turnah.

It's about his boyfriend of 10 years, their 6 year old adopted son and pressures to get married. His Catholic mother is pressuring them to marry. His boyf doesn't want to get married because he doesn't want to "act like straight people" - though, he is a stay at home dad that does all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. And, their son is against gay marriage! so, it's totally full circle type thang, all of the viewpoints on gay marriage at once. An inspection of marriage it's self. What it really means. All of that. INTO IT!

oh, and I like a new band and I even ordered their CD!

Monday, August 11, 2008


There is an annoying party on the first floor of my building right now.

"Get Your Freak On"

I can't believe what annoying parties we've had here.

Sorry neighbors!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

so out of it

i have 5 big pen marks on my arm. you know the ones when a rolling ball pen sits on paper too long? it makes blobs. circles.

i have 5 of them. i didn't realize it was poking into my arm. 5 times.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Notes on Bruce

He is an insane man! Nearly 3 and a half hours of a show with no break. He and the E Street Band really deserve all the props they get for that.

Going in knowing it will be 3 hours + is a little daunting. But, he works it. It's not boring. It's not too long, really.

It sort of goes with out saying that he is really amazing. A total performer.

He played the hits. Not too many new album notreallysogreatatall songs. The Highlights for me were Because the Night (even though Patti's version is totally better. It really kind of bothers me how he forces that song into being a "Bruce" song by mentioning working in the first verse. Not needed!!!) and The Promise Land. Oh and OK, I guess Badlands, and Born to Run, Rosalita, etc etc

The guitarist with the bad sideburns did a flip while soloing.

The Bruce Patti love song chemistry I really don't like. It feels so forced.

Not much story telling from the Boss. Straight tunes really.

One thing that is a little weird -how he tries to hold on to his youth. He wants it so bad. He wears 5 necklaces, tight jeans ( and it's so obvious the camera peeps are directed to get shots of his butt in his jeans), the earing, the soul patch. The moves he does. If you thought about it too long it'd be uncomfortable. But he'd play a really good song before that happened so he kind of gets off the hook.

His mic stand is drilled into the stage so he can hang off it, lean on it, swing on, make sexual poses on it. It doubles as a striptease pole.

But he is great. All 50,000 people there truly love him. And he sold out how many shows?2 weeks? of this in 10 minutes. He's got something.

The worst part of the show was the guy behind us.
1- he kept smoking. it is no smoking!!
2- he came into our row and danced with Joan and I during one song. Fine. Then he put his arms around us, made me feel uncomfortable and wouldn't leave. He had really bad lines like " I didn't think you were a good dancer but you are!" or "let's see some more booty shaking please!" eventually I asked him to stop it directly. He said he was trying to make me have fun. Why do some people think they can touch strangers and try to force them to act like themselves? I have no idea.

He ALMOST ruined Dancing in the Dark in which Joan and I did the Courtney Cox dance the entire way through. But he came in too late. And that is just so fun even he couldn't ruin it.

Oh and it should really be mentioned that the man can make the most horrible faces. His singing face is truly hilarious.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Too Much

I have been eating a lot of bagels recently. More than usual. They are just so good. And so close to work...I'm going to get one today and then not tomorrow. OK?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Gotta pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues

I made this postcard for the AIR Gallery benefit. When I made it I was like, "Man, this is good. I like this".



So I got it back.

And you know,
It Don't Come Easy.


like Doucet - totally -


I've been thinking of making a comic out of my wanting to get out of New York so badly.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Mr. Spock

Truly brings a smile to my face. I can't even help it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Women who worry too much

I am one of them. I am feeling it again.

It's a generalized thing.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hugh are you

Have you always wondered what David Sedaris' superman Boyf Hugh looked like too?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

These days

I am easily annoyed. Yes, these days I am. My own problem totally - I know.

Over it bored with it done with it.

I just want Marimekko stuff I could never afford. Besides maybe greeting cards, not the same.

A house to put that stuff in and more cats. and dogs too. That's years away.

I would go to the mall to look at sales but everytime I go to the mall to buy clothes I cry.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Any major dude will tell you

I don't really like going to sleep when there is no one else in the apartment at all. Kind of stupid, but I'm an anxious person!!!

To avoid going to sleep I've been looking up info on Leonard Nimoy. What a great dude.

I think Nimoy would be a really good cat name. I guess I WILL have to get Sadie a kitten buddy to play with so I can name him Nimoy.

I finished reading my book last night. I don't know what to do before bed now. What? Read my subscriptions? Catch up on the New Yorker - yeah right.

!!whoa, I totally didn't know google books did that.If you checked my link you will know what I mean. I'm not into reading books on computers or travel readers or whatever. !!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I would call you

but I left my cell phone at work.

Monday, June 30, 2008

highly illogical

This just in -

I like Star Trek. The original series. Especially Mr.Spock .Duh.

I stepped on a piece of glass Saturday night. I had to lay down most of the night as a result. Alan and I ended up watching his Star Trek DVDs (noid). I liked it. Kind of a lot. So silly and enjoyable. It's so logical.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Dear Michael,

Where to start? I'm not sure how this all happened. Anyone who has talked to me in the last four months knows I love your character, Omar Little from The Wire. I really love Omar. Oh, Indeed and all of that. Yesterday I didn't have to go into work until 11am. I had an hour or so to kill in the morning and looked at your listing.


you were in Trapped in the Closet? How weird was it to do that? OMG you were the cop whose wife was doing the midget?! Whoa, it's weird seeing you in a police uniform but you look good.
Was the song playing while you shot that and you just sang along? Probably, right?

Then I watch you in a comedy Sketch in Human Giant. I'm getting the vibe that you are funny and like funny things. Michael, me too!

At this point I have to stop. I need to get dressed and leave. Then I wonder where you live now? I know you're from Baltimore but maybe you live in NYC now. Maybe Brooklyn. Maybe I'll see you on my way to work! If I do will I take an uncomfortable picture with you? I'd kind of have to. I don't see you.

But I do realize that I have now developed a celebrity crush on you, Michael K. Williams. I still love Omar but now I like you too. It's a little embarrassing so don't tell everyone.



Tuesday, June 17, 2008

HEY Nineteen

I still don't have a good job. or I have one good job that is only 4 days a month. But I am going to see Steely Dan tonight, so like, whatever.

Steely Dan is a band I never, ever thought I would like. Even when I first listened to an album or two I thought, "Ew". Somehow this unbelievably ( unbearably?!) smooth music has grown on me. I love it. Jazz rock, my dad calls it. JAZZ. I'm the one who will proudly make the totally over the top statement of "jazz sux" when I can. I gave Adam the hardest time on our trip a few summers ago as he drove down the west coast happily jamming along to jazz fusion. Now here I am going to see Steely Dan. I still don't like jazz fusion!

Donald Fagen and Walter Becker are insane. These dude audition 30 dudes for a 20 second solo. Their music can't be smoother- their lyrics are a total perv out and so dark. The Dan ( that's what I like to call them) has become popular as a supermarket radio type band when they have the most perv-o lyrics around. It's kind of amazing. They are the ultimate proof that if the tune is sweet, people will completely ignore, or never pay attention to begin with to what the songs about. I mean, probably.

Robin, my dad's GF says Donald Fagen looks like an ugly cousin of Alan's.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Monday, June 02, 2008

and she's a humorist

I'm ready for my career in "the arts". The career of a humorist, an artist, a writer, a public radio contributor. This is what so many people do.

I'm ready, Ira Glass. Feel free to call ( or email! ) me anytime. You seem to work wonders for these people.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

more money more problems

That is total BS.

Friday, May 23, 2008

not gonna

i am so tired of crying. i cry so often. i cried when mary j blige played Not Gon' Cry.

I am in need of some changes in my life. it's so hard to know where to start. so i'm starting with my job.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Utz Grandma Chips Suck

To Whom It May Concern:

I’m writing to report my complete dissatisfaction with Grandma Utz Potato Chips. I recently purchased a bag and was disgusted by the taste. The chips barely even tasted like they were from potatoes. They tasted like eggs and/or soap.

I am a very big fan of Utz and was very disappointed by this. I’ve come to count on Utz for high quality, affordable and delicious chips - which I certainly didn’t receive when I bought Utz Grandma chips.

My household loves Utz – we even have Utz magnets on our refrigerator purchased from the factory! However, we were all VERY disappointed by the Grandma chips. We almost felt betrayed. So much so I felt compelled to write this letter.

I’ve included my proof of purchase with this letter.

Jen May

Monday, May 19, 2008

little stressors

Tomorrow I have an UNPAID trial day decorating fancy cakes. Unpaid? How shitty. But, whatever. We'll see how that goes. Then Wednesday I have an interview for a job editing images.

Neither of these things seem like anything I totally want to be doing. I have no idea what I want to be doing, though. And maybe they'll be/seem OK. I have no idea. I am feeling stressed.

the tiniest things can set off anxiety. I have to take a shuttle bus home? Oh god.

I need some kind of change. Maybe these jobs will help. I have no idea. I wonder if I should move but I have no idea where to.

Working in Manhattan seems like a bummer. That's where both prospects are.

What does one wear for a trial cake decorating day? Jeans, right?

Thursday, May 15, 2008


1. Take frequent bathroom breaks.
2. In the bathroom take really big relaxing breaths.
3. Splash your face with cold water.
4. Try not to count down the hours until you leave
5. (This may prove to be almost impossible)
6.Try to be "in the moment". Focus on exactly what you're doing.
7.Only do # 6 if what you're doing won't make you cry immediately.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

yeah right

I am SO not calling the book I'm working on what I said I was in the last post. WOOF. What was I thinking?

tentative titles taken from pages are;
99 problems
the full impact
bigger everyday


I'm feeling good about it, which is unusual. Maybe I am channeling my complete disdain for my job and current working and sometimes lyfe situation and focusing on creating? Not really. Whatever.

I've also been thinking about what will happen when I finish this book. Or any book or anything like that. I mail it to people who probably don't want it and maybe make them feel uncomfortable? What for? I know it's an attempt to connect but is it weird? Or unfair? Will anything ever come of it?

What else? Oh, there's this -

Monday, May 12, 2008


I'm trying to put together a book I have been wanting to put together for months. It will be called something like "A Book About being a Young Woman living in New York having No Money and A Cat."

which is basically my life. It's coming a long a little bit. I think.

I also committed to having an in progress book on mostly music stuff ready by the end of the month..

Other things I am trying to do;
Make videos on the regular
Catch Sadie when she's tired enough to let me cut her nails.
Find a new job.
Think about comedy things.
there was something else...

anyway, have you seen this?
By Me & Megan

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Friday, April 18, 2008

small funds

since I am very very very VERY low on money right now I haven't really been "socializing" much ( Actually, when I typed socializing I thought about socializing stray and feral animals not hangin'). Because that mostly costs money, eating dinner, getting a drink, movies, shows etc. So, in case you're wondering what I've been doing it is this, exactly;

Making dinner, then eating it watching whatever television show I can get in on the antaena alone in the apartment. I hit a low tv point this week when I had to choose between Everybody Loves Raymond and Friends. Raymond is less annoying, FYI. Usually it's Seinfeld or The Simpsons and pretty enjoyable. I was never very interested in having TV or movies on all the time. I am now though, because it kind of seems like I'm seeing people.

Tonight, Friday? What am I doing? Oh, me - I'm just going to drink wine, take a foot bath, crochet blankets for homeless cats and put on a dvd.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

just sayin'

I'm seeing these two at Madison Square Garden on May 2nd. Pretty weird, huh? Cool, though!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


It is easy to say that curvy women are cool and beautiful if you aren't one.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Chelsea dogs

Today I went to Chelsea - to see art? no. To schmooze with some gallerist? no. To buy some books at Printed Matter? No..........To go to the dog run!!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Oh, indeed

I think about this guy 5-10 times a day. At least.

"Omar! Omar!"

Monday, April 07, 2008

hiding out/ freaking out

i was just putting groceries away and sadie started growling while playing with something. weird. then i went to check it out and she dropped a mouse from her mouth which then HOPPED away and she chased it. i ran in my room crying holding back vomiting. and i'm there now.

i'm not sure what to do - i left my phone out there, and i am hiding out in here.

I know I am a baby but this is gross and scary.

Friday, April 04, 2008

bagels taste so good when it's cold. Also, books.

I keep wondering what the golden amount to feed Sadie is. Am I feeding her too much? Maybe. No! Way too little. Should I change the food more? I don't know. This is kind of the one part of cat care I'm unclear on. How Much?

I tried killing some time in the Barnes and Nobel ( or BN) by Lesley's before meeting up with pat a few days ago. I was hanging out in the "Pets" section scoping out the cat care books....and these two dudes were there ruining it. They were talking really loud about how someone got someone else out of jail and worked for him but then he fired him and now he's calling HIM in his phone in BN. So I went upstairs to the "bargain books".

Anyway, I will make it official now- I want to make books. Like, I really do. Whenever Megan and I make our greatest hits book I think that will be a good book. 3 Days will be a good quickie. It's just waiting to be cut and folded and mailed.

but, really, what I want to say is that Bagels Taste So Good when it's cold outside. Am I supposed to not get a bagel on this horrible rainy day, just because I have no money?! Really? I'm eating some yogurt now but I know once I make it over to Lesley's and see the "Hot Bagels" sign down the street I will seriously want one. Maybe I will get a mini bagel. Mini bagel or nothing.

Monday, March 31, 2008

no homeless

After I pay my rent tomorrow, I will have about 38 dollars for the next two weeks. I wonder if begging homeless people make more money than that?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Dear Everyone Else In The World,

Are you as overwhelmed as I am?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I wrote this in January and I still need to do these things

Things I need to do and work on;

Making more. All the time. Even if it is the stupidest thing in the world

Focus in on certain parts of drawings. So they are simple and not dumb.

Write regularly

Read as much as I can.

Go see art

Go see music

Talk to people.

Sunday, March 16, 2008


I wrote a letter to the universe about how I need a 2nd job and people to want to buy things from me. So, that should be happening, like, any day now.

I also told the universe that I really really want Sadie's FIV/FeLV tests to come back negative. Let's see if the Big U comes through.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

you can see it on my face

As I was waiting by the hospital door to drop Sadie off a vet came by and asked if it was my first spay.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

things that actually happened

On Sunday I attempted curation and hung up a little art show at Death by Audio as requested by Kevin.

It turned out pretty well. Everyone's work looked fantastic together ( good to know!)

I also made a banner for the show that said IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING. That went on the stage after the first act, who had projections.

that's anna oxyegn being amazing.

( i can't figure out why i can't get images to go vertical....?)

a cat's life


i keep finding myself being jealous of other peeps, I'm normally not, really. Or like, even if I am a little it's no bigs.

Right now I am mostly jealous of Sadie the cat. She's sleeping on my bed, with tons of mouse toys scattered around the room with food in her bowl.

Friday, February 29, 2008

a toad can die of light

I am feeling very anxious, crazy and overwhelmed. Maybe a little sad, too.

Monday, February 25, 2008


is so hard sometimes.

my cat is in heat or is sensing another cat in heat. i can't tell anymore. i'm not sure of toby or sadie or toby-sadie's sex.

wednesdaywednesdaywednesday is when i will find out. and make spay/neuter appointment.

an unfixed indoor cat does not have an easy life.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


This is a list of things that are continually inspiring to me. Things that have yet to let me down. I'll probably add to it as more comes to me.

As usual, this is in no particular order.

-Corin Tucker's voice.
-Joan Didion's writing.
-big dogs that are very sweet and wimpy
-Little Cakes Gallery
-Miranda July - her performances and web based work.
-Sarah Dougher, everything she does and how she somehow can do it all.
-really good Beatles songs, like maybe, "Don't Let Me Down"
-Sonja Ahlers books
-Eva Hesse
-Harpo Marx
- Joanna Newsom
- Jay-Z's "the Black Album", ( OK, the entire album besides the 2nd track "Sean CArter was born...")
- Julie Doucet's "365 Days"
-Oneida live.
-Receiving Me & Megan's books in the mail
-Love & friendship( I mean, really!)
-Maira Kalman's "Principles of Uncertainty"
- hot chocolate and good coffee ( not tea, usually)

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

slouching towards brooklyn

I need a second job. I need decent health insurance. I need to straighten up my room. I need to go to events and things. But, really, I'm just doing nothing. Somehow, with all of these things to do I keep finding the least important thing I could be focusing on (like say, making a list of people who I would like to invite to have a show in my hallway if i actually turn my hallway into a little gallery in the upcoming months) and doing that.

I am sort of feeling the 'when it feels to heavy that you just can't stop it thing". But I can't decide if it's one of those times I should just stay in and relax, you know, retrenchment. Or, if I should suck it up and go.

Monday, January 28, 2008


tons of moolah from a rich person that recognizes my artistic genius.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

my newest dream

is to start a per portraiture business. In this business I would draw peoples pets and they would pay me the $$big bux$$. That is my new dream job now that stripes has bitten the dust.

So friends, can you please send me pictures of your childhood pets? I'll make something of them for you. DUDeS I GOT TO BEEF UP MY PET PORTFOLIO!

I am 100% serious.

Monday, January 14, 2008

going down with the ship

ok. so stripes, my job is over. i am not sure how i'll pay rent/loans/electric/internet/health insurance now. I am kind of freaking out and kind of just tired. i'm hoping something will just come up fast. I'm applying for things...I just can't afford to only have my one job.

Maybe people will start to want to buy everything i make. unlikely. and that would probably more stressful than it's worth. and i'm so young. oy vey.

i guess in the mean time i've got lists to make, books to read, art to make, music to listen to and drinks to drink. which i am going to do with pat whenever he gets here.

helloooo alibi happy hour.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

head aches

Alan has been working from home ( or, my apartment) all weekend. It stinks and he doesn't want to be doing it, obvi. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with myself while being home. Yesterday I cleaned up a lot of messes. Today I have a headache and am laying down and have no idea what to do.

I've been reading Julie Doucet's 365 Days on and off throughout the last 2 days. It is great. It makes me feel less crazy. I'm thinking of doing something like that just cause.

Monday, January 07, 2008

things i can do when i don't know what else to do

a reference guide;

write a screenplay
have hot chocolate
direct a feature length film
start my stand up comedy career
crochet something
write back to one of my pen pals
surf the blogosphere

Saturday, January 05, 2008

i wanna be yr larry david

Every once and a while I think, "Maybe I would make a good stand up comedian".

Larry David didn't know he was funny until college. Can you believe that?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

the best of the greatest hits

While I was at work today cutting letters out of foil, I tried to think of 2007 highlights. Here is what I came up with. It is in no specific order, duh, since hierarchy is mostly stupid.

-getting to know Lenny the cat.
-Miranda July's performance at the Kitchen.
-Doing a piece with/having Johanna Fateman as my art mom AND having that in a show.
-when Caitlin and Devon came over to cook meals in the summer.
-our revamped apartment.
-having Wynne Greenwood come into our sculpture class.
-everything insane anyone ever said in sculpture crit.
-Alan!( continued from 2006)
-having people want to buy weird things (aka ART) that I've made.
-starting and finishing little collabo book zines with Devon and Mandy.
-stripe factory
-Castro's, always.
-Me & Megan's new book
-My Aunt's new dog Raz
-Fall without homework
-my ll bean braided rug

I'm pretty sure I thought of more stuff at work. But I can't remember it now so, whatevs.

2000 oh great

I've never really been too into New Years. I realized what my ideal new years eve would be this year - the Bill Murray Film Festival, again. Anyone in for next year? Anyway, Though I don't really like saying "Happy New Year!" to everyone for the first week of the year, after writing notes and stuffing envelopes for hours with Devon yesterday I discovered I really like writing it. And writing it bigger and bolder than anything thing else I've written.

As my 3 or 4 blog readers already know - I am very much addicted to caffeine. It kind of sucks, even though coffee rules!!!!!! I would like to be able to not have coffee one day and not have the worst headache of all time because of it. So, this morning I'm drinking some black tea ( totes sux in comparison). I'm not going no caffeine or anything, I'm just going to switch it up every once in awhile hoping it makes me slightly less dependent. Is that possible?

Also, I've come to the point where I think "WTF I don't know how to make anything, I can only draw some weird doodle flower sometimes and everything i've ever made is the stupidest thing that ever happened in the universe" so, friends, could we do like a real crit type thing sometime? that would be pretty cool.

AND FINALLY some seriously blog worthy news; I now have an ipod. I've been spending whatever time i've been home doing something else and also importing cds to my computer. it takes a long time. I'm almost there.