Tuesday, December 22, 2009

2009 award

for best representation of what it feels like to be a young woman goes to the scene in Jennifer's Body where J barfs black negativity vom all over Needy's kitchen floor.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

lowest point in my life?

I have already seen the episode of Cougar Town that is on right now.

Manohla Dargis Rulez

fuck 'em and totally.


Unrelated but, I know! and seriously, how much longer do we have to watch her were 100% inappropriate outfits at all times? The outfits are the most annoying part of that character besides everything.

Monday, December 07, 2009

We can't all marry Beyonce

Does Empire State of Mind make anyone else think about how not awesome their life is and feel bummed?

I never really listen to it but on the subway the other day it was blaring and it almost made me cry.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

geniuses in the world

LOVE THE HOUNDZ yes!

I saw Jonathan Safran Foer read last night and I could have listened to him talk about how important and logical it is to be vegetarian forever. I was really into Eating Animals. Like, really. I'm glad he wrote it. What a dreamboat. A lot of respect to that smart man.

and the hounds! DL that shit.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Team Jacob

Bella gets a cut (as effin' usual) and starts bleeding and Jacob says - you're bleeding, here- or something and takes off his shirt and the camera pans up as it comes off.

This is the funniest thing I have seen in the movies all year and I have been going to the movies constantly all year.

Bella is the most nothing character imaginable. It's depressing.

More on Twilight Saga: New Moon Conservative Vampires Virgin Porn later maybe.

Monday, October 26, 2009

in love with an alien

When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?

that's a just a link to me & Devon's blog to remind you to go there everyday. CLEARLY.

Friday, October 16, 2009

you turnin' me on/off

All of my favorite songs are radio hits that are just slightly not current enough for someone whose favorite songs are radio hits.

Taylor Swift is SO PRETTY.

I have fully embraced Lady GaGa. A while ago, but I'm just letting you know. I want to wear that red hood mask crown dress everyday.

"I refuse to accept any misogynistic and homophobic behavior in music, lyrics, or actions in the music industry."


YEAH!!

Better recognize a real woman.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

And who am i?

that's a secret I'll never tell. you know you love me
xoxo gossip gorn.

Did you see Sonic Youth on Gossip Girl? Did you see Kim Gordon marry Lily and Rufus? It happened. I liked seeing SY mingling at the wedding and having no one pay attention while they played an acoustic Star Power. That shot of Nate Archibald walking past them, completely ignoring them was IT!

ALSO I FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE FRIENDS THAT HAVE FRIENDS THAT PLAYED POOL WITH CHUCK BASS AT A BAR AND CHUCK LEFT HIS SUNGLASSES(RAYBANS) THERE AND THEY HAVE THOSE GLASSES!!!

Besides GG being my whole life, there is this blog. everyday-sometimes.blogspot.com

I still haven't seen Whip It. I know, I know.

If real life was Star Trek and Holodeck's were real I would be hanging out with Chuck Bass and doing something expensive right now.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Jennifer's Body


I enjoyed Jennifer's Body. I think. I did.

THAT BAND. omg. yes. Totally perfect. Adam Brody played that guy really well. I like him for no real reason. Maybe because of the OC theme song?

I can't believe I saw a scary movie in the theater. I HAD to though. The movie also HAD include the normi horror movie conventions to subvert them. Not that it was the most subversive movie ever, but it rocked it a bit.

I hated Juno but Diablo's dialogue seemed more appropriate here. Most appropriate for Jennifer, who said most of the almost unbearable lines. There weren't many.

It isn't a total feminist horror movie dream come true but it is something.

That scene where Jennifer is in Needy's kitchen and barfs black hell all over the place. I know what that feels like.

That HELL YES! movie poster...what?

Not articulate enough for a full report. Everyone has conflicting opinions.



Let me blow your mind - my name is actually Jennifer. The only person in the world who calls me that is my mom.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

If I was going to try and seduce Captain Jean-Luc Picard I would wear earl grey tea perfume. I still don't own that but I definitely will at some point.

Friday, October 02, 2009

sick.

Home sick today. Emailed in sick last night. Very Profesh.

Since I'm just laying around all day I've spent most of my time being obsessed with the Polanksi Sympathisers(and watching weird James Franco movies). What?Are you kidding me? Why is this something ANYONE is interested in publicly defending? I mean, Woody- Yeah, of course. But everyone else - WTF!? Peneolpe Cruz? But I really like you! David Lynch(not surprised, not into him), Almodovar WHAT?!, And a big F U to Whoopi. It's always rape-rape, Whoopi. Go to Hell. She is not as wise as her TNG character, for sure. He raped a 13 year old girl. He did. I don't care how cool his movies are, or how long ago it happened, it's inexcusable. I have no sympathy for him,or his time in "exile".

Kate Harding is OWNING writing about all of this.



And, I'm like, why are you so obsessed with me?

Friday, September 25, 2009

I feel like Scott Bakula has a little bit of a Nimoy thing going on. But not really. You know?

Friday, September 18, 2009

believe it


I bet Ed Westwick (aka freakin' Chuck Bass) gave him his band a cd of his band The Wild Boys*.

* Wild Youth? Youngbloods? Raging dudes? What is it called? I just googled it and his band is called the Filthy Youth. Every time I try to make a joke about his band I call it the Wild Ones or something and always think it's right.

I really hope they play a show with SY & the other GG bands: Leighton Meester, who I think just goes by her name, and Lil' J's band...Pretty Reckless. I'd go.

a nasty school boy with no place to go



fagedog

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

yes

Monday, September 14, 2009

the best day

Is Captain Picard Day. Which should be celebrated on June 16th, since that is the equivalent to Stardate 47457.1. DUH.

I missed that so the best day is today. Yeah, Devon is here and we're having tacos...whatever,dude! (jk) It's also the PREMEIRE OF GOSSIP GIRL!

CHUCK BASS!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Monday, September 07, 2009

an actual fact

If you are in Bergen Bagels longer than 15 minutes either Dreams or Landslide will play. Sometimes it will be Rhiannon(very rare).

Sunday, September 06, 2009

JF is so cute

I'm watching Spiderman 2 on channel 5 or something. Sitting on the couch - I mean, FUTON - surrounded by cats and cookbooks. The cats keep moving around and messing up the reception.

'Sup Labor Day Weekend?

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

birthday party kind of, the stage


I didn't take this picture - mine came out horrible. My camera also has brownie bits in all of it's crevices because I put part of a brownie in my bag. Can I live? I found the pic google blog searching. Just giving credit where it's due.

Monday, August 31, 2009

about Brit Brit

I don't want to talk about it.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

it's Britney bitch.

OMG I AM ACTUALLY SEEING BRITNEY SPEARS TOMORROW.

totally paying $40 for the It's Britney BITCH t shirt!

NOT!

I haven't even paid Joan back for the ticket yet!

What am I going to wear? I mean, really?

I don't have time to get a spray tan before hand because I'm working in NJ tomorrow. UGH!!!

Will Joan and I pregame in Penn Station before the concert? Do we really have an option?

Also, Ciara is opening for her and she is SO AWESOME!!!.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Lenny Lorenzo Nimoy

Brahsclusive of my now legendary meeting with Leonard Nimoy at da brah blog!!!

Letting you know a week late here..but I was on a mountain and in a creek last week.

all the cool girls in the world

whoa

MTM & I had our big ass banner and an art table at a major cool girl rager on Saturday. So many cool girls. How are they all so cool?

IT WAS SO COOL.

I would post a picture but the 3 bad pictures that I took are on Joan's camera. And Joan is in Maine. I can't find my rechargeable batteries anywhere.

The pictures I took were very professional and include one that is completely blurry. One with the flash that is more an image of a beer bottle than our table. None of the banner.

Can I Live?

Monday, August 10, 2009

I just watched about 4 minutes of the Teen Choice Awards and it made me feel really unemployed.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

disturbia

I love this picture of Nurse Chapel on the floor. That's what I feel like all of the time.

Today I ate at John's by myself. I haven't been to John's in a long time...really. A few times with Matt in the last few months. But I haven't seriously been there. I felt totally emotional! So Illogical! I was thinking about how Laura and I went there on my birthday a few years ago. The John's guys brought out 5 slices of strawberry cake with a doughnut on top of them with A ROSE MADE OUT OF TINFOIL on it. They sprayed the rose with men's cologne and it made my entire room smell awful for about a week. I cried, obviously. I have the rose still. The best art. Also, they had a picture of me&laura&joan hanging up. For a year. Going there makes me feel guilty. Like going to family parties and feeling like you should put more of an effort into being with these people throughout the year.

Maybe you haven't heard but Wednesday night is officially Art Date Night. That means that you get take out & don't spend time making dinner but you DO spend the night making arts. Ask Devon she thought of it. I'm doing it. Mine kind of happened today during the day though because I went to see J Hops reading last night, which was amazing.

And then NEXT Wednesday I'm seeing Steely Dan play Gaucho. Clearly. Why Gaucho? Because IT RULES. So My Art Dates are messed up for 2 weeks but they're still happening. My art nights consist of making Everclear Art. My specialty. And also BABY ART. I had to make an art for my cousin's baby that she just had. There had to be butterflies in it. Going to LI this weekend to view the baby and to hand over the baby art. And to drink a margarita from a margarita machine that will be at the family party.
Since I have no job right now I feel like DISTURBIA the Rihanna song, but also kind of releived to be home during the day.

Monday, July 20, 2009

getting better in the worst way

Little dude Spock the cat has been very vocal all morning. Since 6:20 when he decided to wake me up. Sadie the cat is on a hunger strike.

After Tuesday I won't have a job anymore. Like, at all. Was looking for a new one then just...lost this one.

I'm going to try & apply for unemployment. I'm not sure it will work.

If
you
hear of
ANYTHING

let me know!

I've got cats to feed.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Hi, what's the cheapest bottle of white wine that you have cold?

Friday, July 10, 2009

Away We Go

Was better than I was expecting! I liked it. It was a little cheesy and maybe condescending but, whatevs. Liked it.

Hated the AWAY TO____ text that would pop up. Why?

JK is cute.

It made me want to not work at a job everyday, move into a big azz house that is beautiful and be pregnant and wear clothes that make me look REALLY COOL PREGO.

The music was kind of tiresome by the end. George Harrison tune made me feel good. Worked as a feel good hit.

bye!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

buy me a new lyfe

OMG

You know you are in a fragile emotional state when you start to tear up listening to I Will Buy You A New Life while washing the dishes.

WTF.

It is because I have no money I think. And I want to have a new life bought for me. Debt can really make me FREAK OUT. When Alan and I watched Stroszek we had to pause the movie for about 45 minutes so I could cry hysterically.

Everclear...whoa. So into it. EC & Brit Brit. I don't listen to anything else. Is it just me or is Art Alexakis really sensitive to how hard it is to be a woman? Is he a feminist? Am I insane? Listening to So Much For the Afterglow reminds me of being in high school and thinking that when I was cool and older I would have a boyf that was kind of  like AA on SMFTE. Probs better off but, you know.

"Simple minds just cannot seem to understand/
you are neurotic and depressed it doesn't mean that you're sad"


Hey, guess what I'm working on today? 

Adam Davies bDay gift.

Hey, guess when Adam's Bday was? 

Feb14. Vday.


You know that Roz Chast cartoon from like, two New Yorkers ago? How to Drive Your Man Crazy in Bed?  So funny. I love it. I'm going to frame it.

Friday, July 03, 2009

psyched!

#1. My dad is getting married!!!

Isn't that exciting? He & Robin have been together for 11 years - a decent chunk of my baby life.

ANYWAY - PSYCHED! I don't know what they're going to do. But, they will be "official".

#2. Leonard Nimoy is going to be at a Trek convention in NJ in August & it's only 30 bux the day he is there! HELL YEAH I AM GOING. I have to buy a ticket...tomorrow.

#. Spock the cat has been wearing his collar for 3 days! What?!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Where I'm at in life

I LOVE Gossip Girl. I wish Chuck Bass would go to Europe to buy things that he would surprise me with by setting up my ultimate perfect dream night prom romantic life. I didn't go to my prom but CB would know what to do.

I think I want to start playing lotto.

xoxo

gossip gorn

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Confessions

of a Shopaholic was so boring. Like, really boring. I was the first person on netflix to watch the dvd I watched because it came out on TUESDAY.

Confessions of my life: Martin Starr's twitter is one of my first 3 or 4 websites I check. INCLUDING MY EMAIL. I don't even have twitter. I think it is pretty clear that if I did have one it would be really good. Anyway, reading his twitter is just reading one half of convos he has with fans. It seems like he replies to every person who tweets @ him (or whatever). Which makes me think....maybe...

Also I watched every episode of Party Down. Started only because of MS in it. And he is a total perv in it. And, like I told Megan and Regina like, 3 hours ago, I hate when I remember that pretty much every dude is actually a perv. That is something that I cannot understand and imagine isn't true most of my life. Then I watch a Starz TV show on the internet and remember and I hate it. It was really funny every time Martin Starr talked about being into Hard Sci Fi though. And a guest appearance by George Takei. Could I ask for anything more?

Leonard Nimoy.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Everclear cover band.

A building collapsed down the block from me today. Yeah, I went to The Ave to buy toilet paper and to check it out and it is terrifying!!! That is one of my biggest fears about my own building that I kind of forgot about for a while. It might collapse!

Also, you have probably noticed that the US Open is in my home town. Uh huh. Yah 2nd time. I had to watch some golf today for fathers day. Golf, what a snooze fest. I told my brother he should be a professional golfer or SOMETHING so he can give me $$$$ when he makes it big.

On Friday we listened to so much Everclear and Caitlin wants to start and Everclear cover band and I do too. And it is called Drug Zeppelin or You Make Me Feel Like a Whore. Obviously. I also think that our cover band should be a collaborative art project were we give each other Everclear art and say it is a cover band. that IS happening. I want to pull out some awesome Everclear lyrics here but I'm listening to Sara by Fleetwood Mac and I just can't think of any.
"yeah, i like it when you talk to me"

Monday, June 15, 2009

Just incase The Secret is real..

Can everyone in the world think positive thoughts about me getting into the Brooklyn Museum's paid Museum Education internship? And if not that..the MoMA one. But mostly BM.

K thanks!!!!!!


POSITIVE THOUGHTS & VIBES.

That can be so hard.

Friday, June 12, 2009

55 days of dumber

OMG. I've just spent 20 minutes trying to watch the trailer for the movie 500 Days of Summer that looks kind of annoying to me. In a way that makes me REALLY want to watch the trailer and probably see it! It just won't play. Our internet works better if I switch off our wireless and "piggyback". I pay for this.

I meant to title this 500 days of dumber. wrote 55 . whatever.

You know what movie is too bad to watch? Father of the Bride. Don't bother. So what if Steve Martin is a babe. Just watch The Jerk. Not that I love that.

Anyway, I have a job now everyday. The same one everyday. Until 6. or 3 on friday in the summer. SUMMER FRIDAYS. Pat and I need to write Post Collegiate Lyfe, the show before I forget what it is like to have no money and only the weirdest jobs ever(yeah right). Megan and I are also writing a movie like Now & Then but about art weirdo women who are meeting up and it ISN'T all flashback. This is who is allowed to play me: Michelle Williams, Amy Adams looking like she does when she is Amelia Earhart , Rosemarie DeWitt or Penelope Cruz. Basically, my twins.

not.

Now & Then rules. Laura and I rented it one night like 2 summers ago and watched it on my bed. The best. I think we bought popcorn that you pop INSIDE the tub that looks like movie theater containers. You know? And probably ice cream. I used to dance to the Now & Then soundtrack in my neighbor's kitchen with her mom. When Am. Beaut. came out everyone thought I looked like Thora Birch but she kind of disappeared after Ghost World and I haven't heard that in years YEA-S!. She could play me in my movie.....I guess.

Just watched the trailer.
"I love the Smiths". Do people meet like that?
flash back to me in 10th grade at a weekend class at FIT. Laura has a Sonic Youth bag, same one i had. "I love Sonic Youth" (or something) - Me.
"Oh yeah, love them. Lee Ranaldo gave this to me"(or something) - Laura.

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!

and then we ended up going to the same college and chatting on AIM. We were ROOMIES. AND THEN WE LIVED IN THE SAME APARTMENT!!!


BFFAB!

Welcome back, BLOGGING!!

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

love it

Cut my life into pizzas/This is my last resort.



Alan made that one up.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

NEVER break the chair


I just did the craziest thing ever done. I did my laundry BEFORE going to work!

Tomorrow I am going to North Hamptonish,MA for 5 days for da new job. Then going to Rhode Island for "art work" work. I just realized yesterday this is leaving me working 2 weeks with NO WEEKENDS! oh well.

Never Break the Chair. one of my fave Adam Davies song parodies.

or

Just Like A Prayer/I Wanna Braid Your Hair.

Monday, May 18, 2009

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

FYI

I have a full time job now. Well, like in a few weeks or whatever.


EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

CAN I LIVE?

Currently on view at the Dirt Palace
an installation by Jen May & Megan Thomas-Melly
12-14 Olneyville Square
Providence, RI
until the end of the first week of June. We Think.

24/7 because it is a window.
CAN I LIVE? This small phrase can act as a defense or a demand for permissibility. In what can feel at times like a big bad world, all you need to ask is "CAN I LIVE?" and almost immediately it seems as though the permission is granted, the space has been carved out for the taking. Try it, it won't let you down. Artists Jen May & Megan Thomas-Melly have created a mixed media installation based on this premise.


yeah right

The New Yorker film critics have the worst taste in babes. They don't get it.

David Denby described Martin Starr as I think it was "morosely unattractive" and Anthony Lane in his snarky baby review of Trek says something like "Leonard Nimoy, who these days makes Bella Lugosi look like Zac Effron". Really?

Yeah, right!

They're both so cute. GET OVER IT!

Monday, May 11, 2009

twin g chat

Megan: maybe he'd want to buy our banner from us for a milli
me: i hope so
it would go above the bed he & beyonce make sleeps in
Megan: he could hang it above his and beyonce's bed
ahhhh
me: ah!!

A thought

this is an actual thought that I had today:

I wonder if Zachary Quinto recycles?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

The Star Trek movie is awesome!!!! If you haven't seen it yet, why not?
It's mostly for non trekkies so you'll love it. And if you love trek you'll love the little jokes.

and if you saw it on the first day in IMAX everyone will clap when you first see the Enterprise.

I have my problems with it (why is Spock so wrong? and a brat?How is it possible for KIRK to be more likeable than SPOCK. face tats on the Romulans? etc) but I LOVED watching it!

Nimoy is so cute. like an old dog with a droopy face that is so cute.

more later . I haven't slept in days. just letting you know you should see it.


also, Lt. Uhura...you little slut.

JK!!!
I don't talk about other women that way! but, really.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Multi Tasking

Baking a cake for Intern Appreciation Day and my only co-worker's last day ( very jealous), making dinner, watching 90210 and then Pineapple Express. All while sewing a 16 foot banner. Which is mostly DONEZO(ish)

PE - We both zone out the fighting scenes and love the just riffin' scenes. Whatevs.

"James Franco is so cute".

or baby Multi Tasking - sewing while watching ANTM. Which mostly makes you stare directly at the TV with your mouth agape. Fo is the prettiest, Ameniat is the most awesome awesome awesome, but stinks at posing and Allison is totes going to win out of nowhere. Celia is pSyChO. that's for Devon in case she hasn't seen this season. Since she "doesn't have a TV".

And anyway, we have a car for Megan to drive us to RI.

YES!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Martha

I saw Martha Stewart yesterday. At Pratt for free "lecturing". It would have been monumentally disappointing if we didn't get the free Martha mags at the end. She is insane and great. How does she do everything? Right?

She mostly just said -- "I sell this, and this, this is very successful, I have a lot of houses"

Which is fine, I'd probably say that if I had a lot of houses.

She made some good jokes, showed lots of pictures of her pets, which I respect, but an overall disappointment.

Do you know who didn't disappoint me?

YOKO ONO. When I saw her whenever that was. A month ago.

Friday, April 24, 2009

come over and check up on it

Yesterday I was walking down the street to go to This American Life Live! (on screen in a movie theater - cried 3 times at least, fyi. My norm for a typical TAL show) and I walked by the SVA Theater, which had flashing lights saying OBSESSED PREMIERE! I thought it was some kind of really weird fake premiere for SVA kids or something. I peeked through the crowd and I saw..BEYONCE! She was glowing and sparkling and looked amazing. And also fake since she was just standing there posing for the cams. I pulled out my cell phone but was too excited so I kept hitting the wrong button - turning the volume up on my phone instead of bringing up the camera phone. The I sent a group text:

I just saw Beyonce.

I was disappointed for a minute that I didn't get to see Stringer Bell and also that Jay wasn't with her but I got over it immediately just thinking about glistening Beyonce.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

doin' thangs

We were not punk'd.

Megan and I have a show in....3 weeks at Dirt Palace in Providence. In a big-azz window.

so until then we're going to be busy doin' thangs


Can I live?


*Alan discovered the doin' thangs image sometime a while ago.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Everclear Art

Just not in the groove right now is all.

I have maybe blogged one time in my head in the last few weeks but then immediately forgot about it. Probably about Martin Starr who is very much on my Radar. AdventureLand was pretty good and totes emo. I liked it. It should have been set on LI.

What's important is that I made this Everclear Art to mail to Caitlin a few weeks ago:

I think if you didn't like Everclear when you were younger it is actually impossible to start liking them. You'll just make fun of how every song starts dun dun. dun dun dun dun dun dun. Whatever. Let's just leave this place/and go to Summerland.

That art is made from glitter. As if you couldn't tell. It is glimmering and sparkling and not fading.

I'm ringing in420 by gluing strips of paper from my lyfe together. Receipts and bank things. For a show Megan and I were asked to do but we think we may be getting Punk'd - which would be really mean.

"No one really gives a FUCK about us anyway!!!" Do you know that part?

Forget about 'em we can loose them in the sparkle and fade.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Last night I sat on a pear in a bag. By accident. It was more gross than that sounds.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Unusual You.


Star Trek the Motion Picture (movie #1) is the most boring movie of all time. I challenge you to find a more boring movie. It took two tries, falling asleep both times, to get through the movie this weekend. Was it good? I don't know, not really. Did I like it? I think so. Spock looked great once he got his haircut. And he cries...which makes me think we could have a future. I think he realizes he needs someone (me) to love and get a little emotion out with. Otherwise he would just be a machine probe that shoots lightning bolts at computers. Or something. Thanks again to Brit for writing Spock a love song for me! I love it!

Also, the dad from 7th Heaven ( how I picture both Brian Lehrer and Leonard Lopate to look) is in ST:TMP..and the mom from 7th Heaven is in ST IV!!! She goes out to eat with Kirk and it is really weird.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Adventure Land

I've kind of cared about the AdventureLand movie posters for two reasons:
1- AdventureLand is the name of the amusement park on Long Island that I would go to growing up. (so shitty)
2 - Martin Starr ( Bill!!) Is in it and actually looks kind of cute. I was really disappointed when I realized he was the beard guy in Knocked Up. I thought he just grew up to be a normi/bearded asshole. But, he is still cute. So no worries

SO When I was looking up pictures of MS last night I read an interview with him. He seems pretty much like your average nerdish 26 year old. BUT he said the movie is based off of this place called ADVENTURELAND IN LONG ISLAND WHERE THE DIRECTOR USED TO WORK!!

AdventureLand is a LI staple and so, so horrible. These are my AL memories;

1. When I was somewhere between 6-8 years old I was on the kiddie rollercoaster there with my cousin Lauren* and it broke down. We were stuck on it for what seemed like forever but I'm guessing was probably just a half hour. There were this little sideways turns it did and it was on one of those. AND when I was a little younger a dumbass dumbo ride broke when I was on it. Stuck in the air.

2. The Haunted House. Let me just say that I HATE pretty much all haunted houses/hayrides whatever. I hate them. I just can't deal with it. But this one was so shitty and I would have looked so lame if I didn't go on it,so I would. I pretty much always closed my eyes the entire time and it was really dark so whoever I was with in the little cart didn't have to know that. The squirted you with water at some point. The haunted tree would say "Chainsaws? My idea of fun is (not?) being chased around by a guy with a chainsaw!!!"

3. The Pirate Ship. I barfed on this ride. Just a little and in my hands and next to my CRUSH! Mike Glock!

4. There was this ride called SURF DANCE that was the best ride. One time when I went there with my friend Kati though I started to get really freaked out on it. So we sang "Pretty Woman" in order to get through it.

5. The Rollercoaster was so busted I can't believe no one has died on it. Have they?

That's pretty much it. I don't like theme/amusement parks at all.




*this is a video of my cousin Lauren playing bass for Hannah Montana!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Mick Fleetwood must be a trekkie because he plays one of these things in an episode of TNG. He even shaved off his beard for the role!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

Honest Abe Lincoln Movie Marathon March 15, 2009

To kick things off I accidentally emailed an old professor instead of a friend with a similar name to invite them to the event. Whoops!

Matt hung up a bunch of arts in the hallway for a sweet show. His work makes our entire apartment look nicer.

I made an Abe's Top Hat dark chocolate cake. Presidente, of course!

how much 'stros? So much 'stros. 'Stros even gave us free guac and a half bag of chips! Big Lincoln Supporters.

Pat gave a presentation of his hit Abe comic.

Everyone ate too much while watching the most boring of the works: The Passersby. An episode of the Zone where Abe makes a cameo in the last 2 minutes.

The Savage Curtain? A hit. I guess also the most offensive representation of Abe in the marathon. Kirk's hero! Didn't you know?

The first half of Young Mr Lincoln was my favorite movie. The second half ( courtroom) was good, but also kind of boring. I caught a few people snoozin'. He is hilarious.

"Books!....Books!"

"Law. This is....Law!"

The image of Abe laying down with his legs up on a tree and reading law books is probably my favorite image and I want it to be my desk top background.

He taught himself law by reading books?! Get it!!!!!






Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Embracing my Irish heritage

by having some green bagels and irish coffee this morning...

NOT!

I hate the green bagels. I think they're disgusting.

I tried to make irish soda bread last night, just 'cause. It is hideous and not very good.

Monday, March 16, 2009

never break the chair.



I saw saw Fleetwood Mac at the Nassau Colliseum on Friday and it was so much better than I thought it would be. It was great, actually.

My first thought - OMG Laura's Mick Fleetwood impression is perfect. It is so dead on!!!!

this was the "HITS UNLEASHED TOUR". All of them completely unleashed.

A big bummer: no Christine. My total fave.

The biggest Bummer: "Sara" SUCKED. I was so psyched and then.....this..is not very good.

They really sounded good for the most part. I was Feelin' It.

I'm kind of obsessed with Stevie Nicks now.

This is my brain: So who exactly did she date? Everyone? I heard Tom Petty but I"m not seeing him on Who's dated Who.

Witch-ay Woman. She dedicated Landslide to one of her "all time favorite rock and roll women, Alicia Keys", who was there. It used to be her dad's song. But Alicia Keys got it that night.

I can't tell if it's awesome or kind of sad that she tries to wear the same clothes/ have the same-ish look as when she was the most ultimate babe. She looks good! I wasn't into her bangs though- very math teacher. A lot of costume changes into pretty much the same exact outfit. A top hat here and there. A gold shrug for Gold Dust Woman. Which, I just found out is my dad's fave Mac song. FYI.

they were selling a shirt...ROCK ON GOLD DUST WOMAN.

Most of the crowd seemed to care less that they were there. At all. Until the worst..Don't Stop.

Kind of played up all of their effed up relationships a few times. A little weird. A lot of Stevie/Lindsey split screen on the BIG SCREENS.

Mick Fleetwood was wearing amazing little red shoes.

John McVie was basically hiding under a blanket. Not interested in fighting the rest for attention.

What I wanted to happen and didn't:
NOT THAT FUNNY IS IT!?
Linsdey singing Oh, Daddy.




ALSO THERE IS THIS THING THAT LONG ISLAND WANTS TO DO! IT IS REALLY FUNNY, I THINK!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

soft dive of oblivion

Freddie: im listening to 3eb - 3eb
i was riding my bike this morning SCREAMING the lyrics to how's it gonna be
bc the cars were just insane and driving me nuts!
Sent at 2:47 PM on Sunday

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Wayne's World

I have pretty much no interest in Lil' Wayne. I liked watching this video for about 2 minutes and mostly just for him saying "Wayne's World, Party Time- Ecstacy!" and "Typical Day .."and thinking REALLY?. But it is just depressing and annoying. Kind of like Weezy. And you know what? I still kind of fear for his life even though I can't stand the dude.

I heard him TOTALLY late in the game. I kept hearing he was the best rapper. I was in the car with my brother, driving to my dad's house and some bullllshiiit* was in the radio and I ask him, "What in the hell is this?" and he was all "Nen!! This is Lil Wayne how do you not know who he is?" And I did know I just hadn't heard it. He said something really disgusting about getting a blow job in that little bit I heard and I made my brother feel embarrassed by asking if he understood what he just said, and was that OK?

BUT How did he get the best rapper alive title? Totally undeserving. Clearly, that belongs to Jay. Who is so incredible and hilarious that I am able to look past his misogynist songs for a minute which is really rare for me! I don't give him a pass. I would really, really like to talk to him about it. And also talk to him about how I draw basically the same way he rhymes and see how he feels about that. Anyway, to me, Lil Wayne sounds like a very stoned person being coaxed to freestyle at some party from hell by a bunch of other very stoned people who think it is amazing.

Also, Mrs. Officer offends me!! REALLY.I know it isn't cool to be offended but I am all of the time!!! The whole thing - that chorus..ugh...
And I feel like an Aulde Maid for even writing this - but seriously, the Lady Cop is a woman with authority and power over Weez - who then declares himself the boss and has her wearing handcuffs and heels and sounding like siren. That Chorus!

Also, he made this song.

NOT INTERESTED!

Just brushing off my shoulders now and going to sleep.

I will say though, that I did kind of like the remix of a Milli, a Billi. Which is by my man, obviously.



* I can't beleive it but I couldn't find a clip of Daniels saying "This is some bullshit". I had to go to Clay Davis. Am I just bad at youtube?

Friday, March 06, 2009

ACTUAL ALIEN AGREES TO APPEAR IN SCIENCE FICTION SHOW

Feeling kind of brain dead all week. But... Pat Barrett has really out done himself this time! Lincoln comic. Pat's going to do a reading of this at the marathon. Is that cool, pdids?

Also - there are more bloggers in Clinton Hill than anywhere else in this big dumb city. What's up with that? Flake dogs?

AND, I guess I probably should have known this, but I am Not Spock is so far pretty much the exact same book as I am Spock only with less Nimoy/Spock convos.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

MAD MEN


I have been watching MAD MEN and I really like watching it but I also think it is kind of weird. Every character acts so strange. What's up with that? Close to the end of season 2. No spoilers, Pat!!!!

What's the deal with the flash theme song thang? It's horrible. And it's kind of September 11th, right?

Joan Halloway makes me want to buy all "new" vintage fitted dresses and really make my strengths sing. But I have no money so I will just continue dressing like a crum bum.

I can't stand Peter. He is so horrible. I can't even think about him. What a wienie. OMG I hate him!

Don Draper, or Don the Draper is a total A-hole but he's so dapper that I love him. And he is kind of a good guy, too.

The show kind of looses me when it spends too much time on Don's past and what have you, even though he is a total babe.

Every time I decide I think one of the guys are OK they do something horrible.
"He's a good guy". Next scene - he is cheating on his wife & being gross.
"He is like the only decent guy in the office". Next scene - He tackles a secretary and pulls up her skirt to see what color underwear she is wearing.

Betty Draper basically lives underwater or something. She is so unpredictable.

Peggy is great but..the end of season 1? That was bizarre. For a while there it seemed like an Eddie Murphy movie with her.

I guess it is true. It is a GOOD SHOW.

Also, Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Forget it. That was really bad. That guy is great in F&G but can't really carry a whole stupid Apashmoe movie. The only thing I knew about the movie before seeing it was there was FULL FRONTAL ...TWICE. Which was, let's face it, pretty gross. I laughed at one joke and it was when he said someone looked like a gigantic baby. That's only because that is one of my favorite things to say.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Live long and prosper - L'Chaim



Yesterday I said this to Joan: "I really wish I had I am Not Spock, too". Joan was like "yeah".

Today this truly amazing miracle happened:

I am having breakfast at John's with Matt & Joan and Matt asks whether or not I had I am Not Spock. And I'm like, oh that's so weird. I was just telling Joan how I really want it even though it's kind of crazy since I have the other one.

He pulls it out of his bag! found at the salvation army yesterday. I am so, so happy. I'm basically ready to throw out every other book I was reading, or even own. I'm set!

I only read one page but it mentioned Abe. This is the amazing premise of his autobio #1 "If he is not Spock, who is? If he is not Spock, who is he?"

There is a picture of him in 1968 holding a cat. I want to get that picture blown up to poster size and make it my art or my best friend. Another pet. Something.

I think tomorrow I will finally mail my letter/copy of that book I made to Leonard Nimoy. It has been addressed & stamped sitting on my desk for about 4 months. Kind of nervous about it. Why? He will probably never even receive it!



That is what is directly above my desk. My daily inspiration - Jay-Z drinking wine and watching I am Legend and James Franco spotted at his 30th Bday party, staying sober among fountains of absinthe (wtf?). And of course MARY! who is truly an inspiration to me all of the time. I love her.

Monday, March 02, 2009

live blogging from Snow Day @ 159

Had to make the decision - will I get personal on this shit? Share stressful and traumatic things? The answer is No.

So, moving right along I had a Snow Day today because the kids of the woman I work for today had a snow day. Joan had a snow day and so did Regina.

I have drank coffee and sat on the internet for a few hours. Told Joan about how I'm worried about Ben Affleck after seeing HJNTIY. He seems totally depressed. Megan says:he is depressed because he has an ugly baby.

Megan also said : James Franco is crush #1. Barack Obama is crush #2.

Totally

My main thing for today is working on making a veganized Mary Todd Lincoln white cake for the Last VCR.

"I'm ready to go right now I'm ready to go right now"

R&B hits of the last year are pumpin'. American Boy is still my favorite. Kanye is so strange. I'm upset with him for suggesting people should give C. Brown a break. Hell no.

Smells like my building is burning down.

The best Freaks and Geeks clip is this one.

The best song is this one.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mr. Form

In case you were wondering who I had a crush on in high school it was this guy:

Mr. Formisano. A Math teacher that I actually never had. I had friends that had him and they would take pictures of him for me. I would also take pictures myself of him like, walking down the hallway in between classes or something. Not as good. Wish I could remember who took this one..

I started looking for some of these pictures because I was talking to Devon about how great Freaks & Geeks was. We both loved James Franco ( duh) and Bill. Mr. Form looks exactly like Bill, but a grown up. See?
My best friend Kerri got tutored in math by Mr. Form for a while. I was so jealous. I'd always say I was going to leave my weird pictures of him around before he came over.

Mr. Form ended up getting engaged to the totally adorable bio teacher Ms. something. I found out when an incredibly weird Spanish teacher announced it to the class. I said "WHAT?!" out loud which was really out of character for me. I was voted "Most Shy", you know.

One time he was walking behind me on the stairs and he was holding his tie up and humming the Star Wars song. So, it probably would have never worked.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Amok Thyme

Caitlin, when we open up a Vego Farm Restaurant can we call it Amok Thyme?

if that never happens I will just make a blog called Amok Thyme and blog about eating dinner alone watching Star Trek every night.

Friday, February 20, 2009

the blirst/makin' sneeps

omg this week has been so bad! the worst! for you too, right? Joan said it was a weird week.

I had a wake, I ate really weirdly because I wasn't home all that much, my cat is still half sick,my vet bill is more than my checking account, I keep being really forgetful with work and even more important with my health insurance ( which, let's face it I will probably be denied again because of my pre existing blood disorder!!!)

I did get those new Lincoln stamps, though.

my co worker: He looks so different in all of them
me: he's growing up!!


BUT TONIGHT

I am getting a new bed.

A NEW BED. You've probably sat on or laid down on my bed so you know it is the worst bed. You can feel the springs. I've been sleeping on it for 5 years like that!! It came from my dad's girlfriend's cousin's basement. Who knows how long it had been there and that house it totally haunted!

My bed is coming at some point between 3:15pm - 5:15 pm. So I get to leave work early and then lay down on a new bed all night. ALL NIGHT. It's bigger - a full. It's firm. It was seriously on sale for prez day wknd!

Thanks Abe! Thanks for nothing Washington!!

I really don't like George Washington and I have no reason besides that I hate the way he looks.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

young abe the babe




Happy 200th Birthday to Abe Lincoln!!

What a guy. If I think about his assassination I'll start crying at work and freak out the interns. It's so depressing.


Abe Celebration Marathon coming up! soonish!
The Savage Curtain
&
Young Mr Lincoln - aka young Abe, the babe.

Also, maybe we can find a recording of Sarah Vowell reading the Gettysburg Address? I feel like she's probably the closest to what he actually sounded like...NOT that guy who is my fave from Law & Order..what's his name?




Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Lyfe on hold & James Franco

I put everything on HOLD this week. Sadie is sick. No word on what it actually is....tests..
It's totally depressing. Her eyes look like a star trek TOS alien. It takes so long to give her her meds - though, Joan's been helping me and we're getting pretty good!

So, no HJNTIY this week. I've been making up for that by reading a COSMO and watching Gossip Girl and 90210. That's all the same deomgraphic, right? Just desperate to understand the other sex especially if it involves rules that make no sense. Cosmo taught me how to de-code things men say.

This is it:
Everything they say actually means the worst, meanest thing it could possibly mean. "you look weird".

Anyway I'll probs see HJNTIY on Tues or Wed because on Monday....

JAMES FRANCO!

I'm probably going to see him in person on Monday. I'M GONNA FAINT!!!

He's talking at Regina's school. And, yeah, it's a "students only" thing but she's going to try & sign me in.

I have to go!! I will be so embarrassed the entire time.

I actually wrote a whole post about how much I am seriously into him right now a few weeks ago but then deleted it. Sometimes you have to do that.

And

he is in Mike's Post Modernism class at Brooklyn College!!!! He just gave a solid presentation!!
Unless I just got punked via text message.

HE'S SO CLOSE!

He is right now #1 on my main best celeb crush list. Young Harold Ramis, MKW, Anjelica Houston.

sorry, Alan!

Sunday, February 08, 2009


the first time I've seen them sleeping together. Totally cute.

A bad cat day, still. Sadie is sick. Was at the vet, got some antibiotics. She's just not that into having them shot into her mouth. Her eyes are messed up and it's unsettling. Hopefully, these meds will work.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

where are all the leaves anyway? I feel like I'm in hell

Simultaneously making Potato and Kale enchiladas with roasted chile sauce and fudgy no bake cookies and looking up recipes for veg Tom Yum soup.

i'm going clayzy.

Caitlin and I were saying cooking is a creative thing. It is it really is. It can be hard to convince yourself of that, though.

always thinking "what should I make for dinner"?

Friday, February 06, 2009

do you love it?

You know when you get tricked into doing some "interview"? And then you say something dumb about your art and just talk about Obama. Kind of like what a joke of an artist would be on some funny show? ( post collegiate lyfe? 30 rock?) And then you can't sleep? And your cats are there?

I HATE IT! I already feel so embarrassed. Never another interview in my life!

I wish I just said this-

"Do you love it?

Do you love it?"

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

"LOOK OUT!"*

for twinblogspot.blogspot.com


coming soon! Like, whenever I write about RR and Megan checks her email next. That's when it'll exist!





* - Dio, always

Monday, February 02, 2009

kitty half time show

I went to a super bowl party last night and was lucky enough to have Puppy Bowl V put on for me in another room. I had such a hard time deciding which puppy to vote MVP for so I just didn't.

AND

my Mom totally won "boxes" from the super bowl!!!
Her & a friend went halfsies on a box at this restaurant down the block from her house and they won!!!

I only actually watched the last "2 minutes" of the SB. I think maybe I don't really like watching sports because time means nothing to them. I decided I was rooting for the Steelers then, and made them win, obvi. I think every person in the room were all for the Cardinals. Didn't stick around for the Office. If it was 30 Rock I totally would have!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

are you mental? Get the net!

update -

today there was no water on my bed at all. Still a mystery has to what happened. It was just totally normal water, though, because it dried without leaving any kind of spot. It must be the cats but I can't figure out how.


"I wish I could boldly go where no man has gone before, but I'll probably just stay in Aurora".


I am in full hibernation mode and I love it. I am going out to the movies but I feel like that doesn't count. Megan and I are starting our run of movies marketed towards women today ( RR, Confessions of a Shopaholic and, my favorite, He's Just Not That Into You). I didn't want to type out chick flick because I hate it so much. but I did.

I know RR doesn't really count. That's more in the Oscars batch. And I feel guilty, but, I'm just not that interested in seeing Slumdog. I Know I'm Supposed To Want To.

Successories.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

?

This morning I woke up and there was a huge wet spot towards the bottom of my bed against the wall. It's not cat pee, because that smells horrible, this smells like nothing. Water? It doesn't seem to have come from a leak in the ceiling because nothing on the wall is wet. I'm like, totally positive I didn't dump water on my bed. I'm freaked out by this!!!

I feel like the cats must have done it, but i can't imagine how. Or, of course a stalker murderer! Or some Rosemary's Baby shit. I have no idea!!

if you have any idea how this may have happened. let me know.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

44 is my favorite number


What did you do yesterday for the inaug? Pat, Regina and I had a multi-course drinks event.

soy lattes ( Devon, did I tell you I got a (soy) milk frother at ikea for 1.99 and it totally works!!?) for the oaths and then mimosas for the speech. Water throughout.

After it was over I felt crazy for watching TV for so long during the day. Started early. We waited forever for that parade to start and as far as I'm concerned it never did because the TV was off.

but, um, The Neighborhood Ball? That was so bizarre!!!

First I will say that I think Michelle looked better than Beyonce.

And then I will say that I started crying when I saw Mary J was there singing because I was so happy for her, and I guess myself and the world, but mostly Mary.

But most importantly....Ray Romano.

omg

wtf

did you see that? it was horrible! it went on for so long! I was laughing so hard. His jokes weren't even jokes or there. It was so awkward. it was horrible!!!! "Did they get a dog yet?"

Rivers was on Terri Gross today and I was kind of expecting him to be a total a-hole. A few months ago I saw weezer on an ad for show on the subway and I couldn't believe how dumb they all looked. Even Brian Bell, who I thought was so cute in high school. I have skipped the last 3 albums I think. Anyway, R wasn't really an A hole, just a little, i dont know. weird. I still don't want to listen to his "alone" cds. like, at all. Jamie, though, I will listen to that over and over. Yes, please. And NPR played maybe my favorite weezer song - the World has Turned and Left me Here. That or Across the Sea, of course. This doesn't even kind of matter.



my whole life smells like cats.

Monday, January 19, 2009

LiLo/ sorry, this is kind of weird.

So, I'm reading Lindsay Lohan's blog on myspace and she totally summed up, for me, why she (and I) blog. (we're really similar!!!)

"all in all-they should just stop asking altogether, once and for all if she and i are broken up because frankly, if we ever ever did.... i would say it before they could even think of asking. i'd say it here probably... i say everything here on myspace. okay. well, i hope that all the gossip magazines and sites, and lurkers read this cuz it's not true. ahh! i love myspace because i can just write, and i love writing, and i can prove all the liars wrong... wow- the people that make shit up must really feel silly, embarrassed, out of stories, scr*w*d, f*ck*d, punk'd, and so much more. because, i can use myspace and just let everyone know what's really going on. which is so much more fun! cuz now, people can get to know the REAL me. yay!"

PUNK'D!!!
I'm not really making fun of her. I kind of like her for no reason.



I saw Pineapple Express this weekend and did like it. James Franco looks ugo in it but is also so cute. I really like James Franco. The other day I google image searched pictures of him and he totally had a goatee a bunch of them.Or he looked kind of, I don't know, Lame. Like, he thought he was really hot stuff. REALLY? Do I always just look past that?I've been talking about James Franco a lot lately. Maybe a little too much and kind of making some people feel uncomfortable. Seth Rogan is funny, I guess. I just don't really like him. I think because his character on Freaks and Geeks was the worst. And Knocked Up was so annoying to me. I still hate Judd Apatow. A weirdly conservative perv. TOTALLY.

When my (and pat & caitlin's) future HBO hit series "Post Collegiate Life" gets picked up, I think I want to make a character named Judd Apatow.Maybe the character that I'll play ( me). That role is going to make me the next Tina Fey and Pat's role is going to make him the next Tracy Morgan. I said that the other night. Just repeating jokes here, is all.

Anyway, just putting it out there, guys!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

suck it

I love Tina Fey so much. When I watched the video of her telling people on the internet to suck it at the Golden Globes I almost started crying.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I don't lamember




I think my favorite memory of something that didn't happen to me but happened to a friend and they told me about it is a Hagen Daz commerical making Caitlin cry. I think about that like, all the time.

Monday, January 05, 2009

a big news update

that whole postcard thing has been FIXED. if you want to download the postcard you could do that here.

also, Spock is out from under the tub and the happiest most affectionate cat I've ever know ( for now). He's not interested in his collar at all and we're about to take a sweet trip to the Vet! He & Sadie will probably "meet" tonight. I know everyone is very interested in this.

just listening to Womanizer before work

and checking out the postcard for the BAC show that has my artwork on it.

Let's zoom in on the back and check out my name...

Oh, cool. My image is attributed to someone else. OF COURSE! cool.

totally of course. Oh well, I guess. I totally emailed them. a PISSED ARTIST.





"you say I'm crazy, I've got ya crazy"